The World's Biggest Letra

With an opinion or two
He does not understand the danger
Of the proverbial ice that he sways on
But effortlessly he encapsulates all that's annoying
I'm talking to a titanic dick
Oh, how I'd love to kick
Into a song that would make him sick
A chorus that could fool him into thinking this song's about no-one in particular
But it is
I hope he's not here 'cause he's a dick
A self-obsessed, non-fictitious dick

So about the time I bumped into him at the bar
He rudely discussed my family and blah blah blah
He told me I should get a real job
I wondered what that was
(Nine to five until you die)
I also pondered what on earth his name was
I recognised his sly, bulbous features
I asked the drunken preacher his name quick
While sipping on my hard-earned drink
And he revealed he was a complete and utter dick
It sounds harsh but he was a dick
The world's biggest royal dick
I feel sorry for his missus
It probably pisses her off that she kisses that thing daily
Can't emphasise enough the guy is an absolute dick
Like a magician without the magic tricks

The third verse won't try to be cryptic
No metaphors or quaint hieroglyphics
That way I may just accentuate
How much you're not my mate
But I guess it'll just have to wait
'Cause I can't find the words
Like the dodos couldn't find the rest of the birds
I know that this sounds absurd
But rest assured you will not be leaving empty-handed
Now here's your award
Congratulations, you're the world's biggest
Congratulations, you're the world's biggest
Congratulations, you're the world's biggest
Congratulations, you're the world's biggest dick