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Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss thisMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish listBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scroungeAll around, hey now, found a quarter in the couch!"Alright, book of matches for Mommy."Things are pretty lean this year and I fearThat there may be a real lack of holiday cheerUnless I come into some money, like if I won the lotteryOr joined a blood bank, and dug into an artery'Cause right now I just haven't got a dimeOut of work, out of money, and I'm running out of timeAnd I don't know what to do, man, haven't got a planThe way it's going our house will be as festive as IranMost people shop at Toys R Us or at the mallI'm at the dollar store and can't afford nothin' at allI dig deep into my pocket to see what I can findExcuse me, what can I get for two buttons and a piece of twine?Hey there's a toy car with some dentsAnd only three wheels, but it's marked down to ten centsNow if only I had that much money I'd be setGuess it's time to raid the fountain to see what I can getHey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss thisMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish listBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scroungeLetras de cancionesAll around, hey now, found a dime in the couch!"Cool, now I can get my daughter that gumball she's been wanting."Maybe this won't be so bad after allI just need to get creative when I deck the hallsLike instead of a tree I'll use that broom over thereAnd hang some pantyhose by the chimney with careOutdoor decorations won't be hardI'll tie a branch on my dog and make him stand in the yardPoison ivy works as well as mistletoe canAnd for dinner we're gonna have a big ol' hamSandwich that we'll have to split five waysAnd it's gonna have to last for a couple o' daysAnd the trimmings, yeah, we're gonna have all of 'emPopcorn balls, potato chips, and M&MsI can't afford eggnog or any other perkBut I found a little three month old milk that aught to workAnd I think I still have a fruitcake from last yearAround here somewhere, Merry Christmas, dear!Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss thisMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish listBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scroungeAll around, hey now, found a nickel in the couch!"This is going right to Grandma and Grandpa. I'll tell them to go to the casino and play the nickel slots. Maybe they'll win a dollar."But then my kid come to me with a list, and I thinkThat there's no way in Hell I can afford any of thisI say I'm sorry but I'm broke, there's no way that I can swing itAnd she says, that's OK, Daddy, Santa Claus will bring itAnd I feel my confidence reboundAnd know there's no way in Hell I'm gonna let my kids down'Cause children and family are what it's all aboutAnd besides, what's one more mortgage on the house?Paperwork filed, rate's locked inForty-seven signatures later I beginWhen I'm done shopping I'll be paying an amountFor around thirty years so I better make it countFor the girl, a life size walk in doll houseWith a robot maid and a butler named KlausFor the boy, I'll get him a race car bedOne that actually drives and has cool tire treadFor the baby, I'll get him this big pneumaticType swing thing with toys, the Neglect-O-Maticâ„¢And the wife, what woman could ask for moreShe likes shoes so much, now she owns the damn storeFor me, maybe I can finally getThat private jet, nah, maybe I'll just get a VetteI'm up to my pancreas in debt, but heyWhat can I say? It's the American wayHey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss thisMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish listBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scroungeAll around, hey now, found a penny in the couch!"OK, I can put this on the train tracks, let a train run over it and give it to my son. Then he can have his own mutant,... squished... portrait of Lincoln.... or something." From Letras Mania