Tom Smith

Tech Support For Dad
It had been a long ass work week; it had been a long ass dayI was hoping I could just go home and sleep the night awayBut the message waiting for me was the worst a man could know:"Hi there, son, could you call me back? My computer's running slow."There are bamboo shoots and water torture, German blondes named Gert,Films with Adam Sandler and lots of other things that hurtBut it's not my job or girlfriend that finally drove me madI've been on the phone long-distance doing tech support for DadIt took seven tries to get him to the Start menu and RunHe had Bonzi Buddy, Comet Cursor, and Quicktime 3.1.I said I'd try to find out if his firewall had been breachedTurned out he'd bought this Compaq before Clinton was impeachedService packs and driver updates, he needs every single thingAnd he gets online by dial-up, so he might be done by springBut he trusts that I can fix it, his beloved college gradNever mind it was in Russian, now I'm tech support for DadAfter thirty seven reboots and a dozen clean installsMy room is trashed, my plants are dead and there's green slime on the wallsBut his 'puter's running smoothly, I can finally get awayWhen he says, "Oh, son, one more thing - how do you sell stuff on eBay?"Here's a pox on all programmers puttin' crapware on your shelvesLetras de cancionesMay you have to teach your programs to your dads by phone yourselvesThere's the Normandy Invasion and the Siege of Leningrad,And the special hell filling in for Dell as tech support for DadNow I've built him a computer; nothing can get in or outThe firewall's adamantium and the drives are sealed with groutAnd if this one starts to run slow, well that's just too damn bad'Cause I'd rather shave my eyeballs than do tech support for DadTech support for DadTech support for Dad"Hang on, son -- your mom wants to know how to set up a web page." From Letras Mania