The Whacking Curse Letra

That I just can't miss
I hear that Connie Chung
The bitch I really love
Just hurled herself
Off of a cliff

It's irony
To me
I can't believe what I see
On the TV
My fantasy
I'd never expect her to be
The one
Who dies
Cuz last night
I jerked off to her a couple times
How could it get worse?
I got the whacking curse

Woke up to the radio
Last night again, you know
Apparently my favorite show
Won't be shown no more
Brooke Shields is dead for good
She used to give me wood
She shot herself, what a cruel world
Why does God take all the good girls?

Did she
Think of me
Before she went all crazy
And how we
As a family
How perfect we were meant to be
How could this get worse?
I was born with the whacking curse

I figured all was not lost
I could kill off my boss
But he's a three-hundred-fifty pound man
So its tough to jerk off
While your dick's going soft
I couldn't get enough lube in my hand
And finally I said to myself
I guess I'll just give up
Cuz I can't kill anyone ugly
Unless I'm really fucking drunk