Gary & Melissa Letra

Over and over and over again
For the first few weeks of their relationship
They made love four or five times a night
They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion
They bought sex books:
The Joy of Sex
The Sensuous Couple
The Joy of Sex: Part Two
The Kama Sutra
Even Yet Still More Joy of Sex
Popular Mechanics
Betty Crocker
Anything

They tried as many positions
As they were capable of physically
They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion
They bought sex toys:
Ben Wah Balls
French Ticklers
Nipple clamps
Cock Rings
Whips and chains and bondage gear
Bowling Balls
Dildos
Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for a while

They set up a video camera
And taped themselves having sex
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
Then, to heighten their passion
Gary taped Melissa
Having sex with some of his friends
And Melissa taped Gary
Having sex with some of her friends
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
They were really turned on

As the years went by
Gary and Melissa became fine upstanding members
Of their community
Although they never married
Their relationship outlasted
All the marriages on their block
And they never fought
Except to heighten their passion

They had made an agreement
That when one of them died
The other would continue
To live with and make love to the corpse
But as luck would have it
They were both killed in a freak accident
And died at the exact same moment
Holding hands