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Hear ye hear ye, good citizens of Dragulot Honored guests and paying costumers From this day forth, I shall be your town crier Because Latrice Royale can literally cry no more I hereby decree the ten rules to rule like Her Majesty the Queen Manila Luzon, the Great Or at least, Manila Luzon, the Meh Rule number one: wear a black and blonde streaked wig at all times Even if people think your hair looks like that of Cruella de Vil Even though she obviously has black and white hair, not black and blonde Questionable hair line optional Rule number two: to impress the masses, simply cross your eyes Not to be confused with rolling your eyes, like what you do when Monét X-Change pulls out yet another sponge Crossing your eyes burns fewer calories than doing anything that requires actual talent, such as dancing, or death dropping off platforms, or modeling But cross not your eyes too much, for your face will stick that way forever Well, at least that's what I was told by my dad, Trinity Taylor Rule number three: be too damned beautiful for your own damned good or for the good of any persons within eyeshot of your exquisite, unmatched beauty All while remaining humble, for humility makes your divine, unobtainable beauty even that much more beautiful God! So beautiful! Also, try not to be photographed from your bad side, unless you don't have a bad side like Her Majesty the Queen Manila Luzon, the Fucking Gorgeousness! Which brings me to rule number four: be born that of half-Asian descent Preferably Filipino Letras de cancionesRule number five: Look as flawless in real life as you do in retouched photos Even though you know that deep down in your soul that you spent thirty to forty minutes FaceTuning your crusted face with your Dorito dusting finger [?] This is from The Rules to Rule by Naomi Smalls Disregard that Rule number six: buy my t-shirt and other merchandise at manilaluzon.com All proceeds go to charity And I have the paperwork right here to show that I have legally changed my name to Charity All sales are final Rule number seven: pay attention to the details, but remember to step back and try to see the bigger picture Especially if it's a picture of Lady Bunny Then step way, way back Rule number eight: when my baby calls, jump, jump to it [phone ringing] Hold on, I've got to take this Hey baby Oh I didn't realize it was already four Yeah, yeah I know that you said you'd call But I'm in the middle of my album Yeah—yeah okay, I—I gotta go now, really I love you too Sorry about that, now where was I? Rule number nine: don't be afraid of looking stupid Chances are, you are stupid Just like Her Stupid Highness Manila Luzon And no one likes a smart ass anyway And lastly, rule number ten: always remember that life is just a game That you will always lose, because you die So play hard, have fun, and be inspired From Letras Mania