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I heard a robot pronounce my last name correctlyAnd in what I thought was my own dream it told me to stop interjectingFor some reason I obeyed and promptly crossed the streetBut first I looked both waysCaught a glimpse of a paradigm shift riding down the block on an old Schwinn CycleSuddenly my ape materialized on a fixed gearAt the senior wine tasting with mixed fears and a button upAnd my fucking glasses keep smudgingAnd even in the important classes I keep fudgingGot a job as the school tour guideI’m no visitor from MarsI’m a normal guy with too many Lichtenberg ScarsThese thick-witted blind sky watchers think they’re mind’s eye doctors but they’re gougersScalping tickets on the Freedom TrailI just want my liberty to failSorry I’m a botherA mostly constant gardenerLet, let, let, let me take a dip in this Lazarus pitIf I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor Moon If I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor MoonI want Ra’s al Ghul’s facial hairIn certain places I’ve worn spacetime threadbareTook a peek through the wormhole and saw Danny Brown’s tunnel floatingI’d call it showboating but this is the Millenium FalconLetras de cancionesI’m bourbon-coating language isn’t surpassed at being very good at holding in anguishesPoke a hole through the side vortexTo strengthen my mind’s forcepsAll the while the taximeter is still runningI’ve got clogged drains for inner monologue plumbingMy brain has too many folded wrinklesI sat beneath the purple rain and felt the tiny sprinklesRappers say they form like VoltronThat was a children’s showI’m laser etching my name in the Philosopher’s stoneIf I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor MoonInhale, exhaleI think I’m Nick Flamel, Bertrand Russell,Add Dwayne Johnson, sans the muscleWhy was the man running though?I do a dance called the Know-It-AllIf I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor MoonGet anxious and hideoutPlaying Pokemon in the potty roomReread all this Twitter spam that “I could too could be a very naughty groom”Don’t date girls who don’t know who Neil deGrasse Tyson isTattoo clever pickup lines on the inside of my eyelidsAte a Freezie Pop and made a mess on my tank top againBurdened me with particle wavesPersonman is at least partially savedInundate my corpse with illegal copies of FinalCutProReading the Eden ExpressGetting spacey in my basement lairStealing free coffee cups at the college involvement fairYour favorite rap writer looks like he’s He-Man’s weed manAnother night ruined by a bad torrent seed. Damn.Retiring as a Trader Joe’s grocery store greeter put me on the list of serial mistake repeatersI don’t dream. That’s much worse than a nightmareTravel beyond infinity like a black Buzz LightyearMy mind is a stupid doo-hickey that’s constantly surmisingThe internet is a treefort that was built for hidingI used to want to be a flautist but the most delicate fingersMy emotional well has a rotten sense that lingersIf I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor MoonIf I wasn’t such a lazy coon then I could probably hold hands with Sailor Moon From Letras Mania